This past November after a very long week of helping people ‘intuitively’ navigate through their marriage and relationships issues and my lack thereof I started thinking about my parents and how and why they have remained together for over 35 years.
So I sent them each a random text early one morning and asked “what has been 3-4 four guiding ideals and principles that have sustained your marriage and relationship?”.
What they shared with me in their reply text was very encouraging and inspiring and gave me a new appreciation for their commitment to each other and I get even more now why Seth Adam Smith says “Marriage isn’t for you” .
November 8, 2013 6:30 am
Addam: “what has been 3-4 four guiding ideals and principles that have sustained your marriage and relationship?”
Dad: #1 example of my parents. #2 my relationship with God. #3 An act of my will, ( becoming responsible for the choice I made with Janet) #4 empowering my self with knowledge of the subject at hand and ever learning.
Me: Dad could you elaborate on what was the example of your parents?
Dad: My father treated my mother with the highest esteem. Allowing her to remain a very loving and nurturing person. Always thinking of her and his family. He denied himself for his, he had the benefit of learning from his first wife and who had died and their family. He got another chance with us as he was in his late 50’s and my mother was in her early 30’s when we were being brought up and hopefully we have benefited from their maturity.
Mom: Good morning Son, I love you!!! The guiding force in my relationship is the relationship I have with my Lord and Savior, Jesus The Christ. In addition, the “Determination“, not to fail in my relationship, as I did not have anyone that I could pattern a good marriage after, but I was determine to make mine work. Another guiding point, “Conversation“, being able to speak truths to one another, without fear of saying the wrong thing but by being upfront and saying ” here is how I feel and let’s deal with it’. Another guiding factor, “My Children”, I wanted my children to experience the love and security of both parents being there for them, no matter what, Sometimes that means even having to swallow the outside opinions from close family members and do what I had to do for my family and lastly the fact that I knew I had your Father’s Love and His Heart for me, even when I really did not know what I really had. TRUST for one another, knowing we could not waste time being jealous, petty about small matters(which meant growth for me) and having each other’s back. Love You Son!!!!!
Thank you Mom & Dad for you commitment, your co-operation with each other and the application of your faith. I am very appreciative and yes Dad, I got your follow up text and I will “go and do thou like wise”. . .
Happy 38th Wedding Anniversary!!